What’s a God sized dream that burns in your heart, a dream that terrifies you to death or a dream that gives you butterflies every time you think about it?
For me, it’s writing! Specifically, it’s writing to women who are broken hearted from a relationship that was promised to last forever. My heart beats for the woman who thinks her heart is unrepairable & the one who thinks she is not enough, second than, unnoticed or damaged goods.
Because to God, she is valuable, seen, held, noticed, loved and adored. I lived a lot of my life not knowing that God saw me in this way.
Growing up, I never really had the “one thing” I wanted to be. At one point I thought I wanted to be a teacher but ultimately decided to pursue broadcast journalism and then pharmaceutical recruiting. I always felt this deep burning in my soul that I was made for something bigger, more impactful, more fulfilling but I could never put my finger on it.
And then, I gave God my simple yes!
I didn’t hear a booming voice from Heaven telling me exactly what to do, when to do it or how to do it. You see, I’ve learned something called walking by faith, not by sight. Very seldom does God lay out the full blueprint of what’s ahead. After ending my engagement in 2020 and walking through intense heartbreak, I discovered a joy for writing. I felt God challenge me to share some of my testimony on Instagram and out in public as He orchestrated opportunities to do so.
One day in my room, I was in prayer with the Lord and asked Him why this was happening to me. Why was it taking so long to feel better? Why did it seem like everything was falling apart around me? Why did it seem like my ex was doing just fine while I struggled to get out of bed most mornings? For the first time in my life, I tangibly felt a wave of peace come over me. The Lord spoke to my heart, “I want you to use this experience to help other young women going through heartbreak.” In that moment, a spark was lit and a desire to testify of how Jesus was piecing back together every shattered fragment of my heart became so pressing.
God speaks to us and gives us desires but it’s up to us to partner with Him to see those dreams come to fruition. The bible refers to this as being co-laborers with Christ (1 Corinthians 3:9). You see, a desire was inside me to share about my breakup, to share of God’s faithfulness and to share of the redemption I’ve experienced through Jesus Christ. But, I couldn’t just sit around and wait for God to make it happen. I had to give Him my yes and dedicate time to dreaming with Him! I responded to the Lord in my room that day and told Him that I would be a willing vessel. Little did I know this would lead to writing a devotional about heartbreak…
Fast froward a few months, I had no plan other than to write the devotional God placed on my heart with little insight as to how or when I would do it. And then, I quit my job. Can I just mention that this was 3 months into Brock and I’s marriage? We were figuring each other out, balancing our finances and then cut our income by more than half!! Talk about a leap of faith. Never in my life had I done something like this.
Here’s what I’ve learned: God never calls us from something without calling us to something.
I’ve also learned the importance of Faithfulness. God cares about our obedience to Him. I knew God was calling me to quit my job. I knew that God wouldn’t call me from my job without calling me to something and providing along the way. As I’ve often said, sometimes when God speaks to us or impresses on our hearts to do something, it may not make logical sense. To Brock and I, it didn’t make logical sense for us to lose over half of our income but we felt this excitement that couldn’t be explained. We also felt a deep peace that God was calling me out of the cooperate world to pursue writing. So, we jumped.
This thrilling adventure began where I felt like (and still feel like) I have a blind fold on and am wandering down a path with Jesus in front of me, guiding me and holding my right hand. I can’t see what’s ahead, yet I feel His touch, His tight grip on my hand and feel my Good Shepherd protecting me as I continue to dive into the unknown abyss.
There’s many of you who are sensing an urgency in your spirit. You know God has placed something on your heart but nothing logistically makes sense, there’s no concrete plan and your physical mind cannot make sense of it. I want to encourage you that God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called.
All He needs is your yes, your, “Here I am Lord, send me (Isaiah 6:8).”
The harvest is plenty but the workers are few. He’s looking for more people to say yes with confidence that He who started a good work will finish it to completion!
In Him,
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